February 2009
27 posts
Are you serious?
Today is weird. We had two drunks come to buy tickets from people eating lunch at our bar. For the record, tickets are not sold at the bar. I don’t think they’ve ever been sold there. Also, it was at 1pm on a Friday afternoon and this toolbag was raging drunk. We are TWO weeks away from St. Pat’s. Two.
Every person that calls is crazy… Something’s in the air.
By the...
I should be paid more
The majority of the time, I feel more like a counselor than a box office worker. I seriously think I should make more money for what I do.
Customers always give too much info. Period.
And so it is
There comes a time in every person’s life where they ask themselves if they truly are good at what they are attempting. I’ve reached that point. The sad thing is, I think I’ve always been there. Right on the cusp.
I’ve been waiting, working, wondering…so many other W words.
I know my problem isn’t that I don’t have focus. The problem is I have too much....
What I wish for this Monday...
I think that all naysayers who say ‘Slumdog Millionaire was a fairytale depiction of the slums of India’ should probably buy tickets to more documentaries and spend less time looking for in-your-face reality inside a work of fiction.
Let's see what I've done
( ) Gone on a blind date
( ) Skipped school - Lots
( ) Watched someone die
( ) Been to Canada—not yet. This summer?
( ) Been to Mexico -
(x ) Been to Florida -
( ) Been to Hawaii
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(X) Been lost -
( ) Gone to Washington, DC -
( ) Been on a tour of the White House
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and...
I think it's been confirmed
If my cavorting with my “fiendish” friends the homosexuals, my language, or my listening to the Devil’s music haven’t already earned me a special seat in Hell already, I may have sealed the deal tonight.
Imagine if you will…I’m home alone. The door bell rings. Typically, I wouldn’t answer it if I’m not expecting anyone. For one thing, I’m a...
Dinner for 21
The rules are: you pick 20 people living or dead, famous or not to dine with you. It was hard as hell to choose people. But I did…and I’m still not satisfied with my list.
1. David Bowie
2. John Lennon
3. Paul McCartney
4. George Harrison
5. Ringo Starr
6. JK Rowling
7. Amy Sedaris
8. Bret McKenzie (seated directly to my right)
9. Jemaine Clement
10. Edgar Alan Poe
11. Jim Henson
12....
Educate your children.
I don’t know that I will have kids. The older I get, the less it seems likely…for several reasons. That’s not what I logged on here to talk about though. It has occurred to me that the new babies out there and the ones on the way are missing out on two important pop culture elements that got me through my formative years. When I the words fell out of my mouth this morning, I...
After you drink, reflect
Reason # 976 Why I love living in the city: Where else can you see two grown men having a dance off to music on their cell phones at 3am than on a train platform? Or a conversation such as the following? Dude: What else did I say that was embarrassing? Girl: You said something about having a boner. Dude: Well, I could have said something about anal warts. Girl: That’s true.
Tonight, due...
How utterly absurd!
I think I need to add more exclamations to my vernacular.
Yesterday on Access Hollywood, Extra, E! News, or some other show that knows way too much about celebrities, one of the “reporters” said, “It is said that Rhianna then punched Chris Brown in the lamborghini.” That must have hurt a lot.
I’m hungry.
I’m sore.
The tomato soup I bought at Target...
A penny
I’m getting thinner. At least I feel as if I am. The scale says I weigh the same, but I do look thinner. Seriously. I think this must mean some alien life from has taken residence inside my body and is eating me from the inside out. When I start getting mysterious flesh wounds, then you’ll all be sorry for doubting me.
Last night at a work meeting, my boss said, “You look like...
“I often wonder about the phrase “more bang for your buck” and if it...”
– Me.
Sweet Somethings
Dear Conan,
You and I never meant to fall in love. This part is true. You were just helping me fall asleep late one night when I was twelve. You won me over with your silly antics and your ability to make any interview, no matter the celebrity, entertaining. I, in turn, kept you satiated with my laughter. It was as simple as that. It was love—pure and true.
We started things slowly. I...
Busy day. Lots of thoughts.
Okay, first of all there is the matter of signing online petitions to keep Conan O’Brien safe and sound in NYC, as opposed to throwing him to the silicone, spray tan-ridden wolves of L.A. I’ve started a Facebook group, signed an online petition, chanted about it, etc…etc.
Also, Kellogg needs to back the hell up! Michael Phelps smoke weed four years ago and their pissed? So now,...
Fooly fool
This is just a little letter to myself:
Casey, you are so awkward and silly. A cute guy was trying to help you, and you all but punched him in the arm, called him “dude” and belched in his face. Clueless. Someone could probably be making out with you right now, and you wouldn’t even realize it.
Sincerely yours,
Socially stupid
While watching Snapped on We today, I was...
Why I live where I choose to live
Last night, I received a text from my mother. It absolutely floored me. “It is so windy and cold here. I don’t know why you want to live someplace where it feels that way all the time? Was I a bad mother?”
Hold. On. A second.
First of all…the windy and cold of Georgia cannot even compare to the windy and cold of Chicago. If you look up the definition of...
Calling all morons
Caller: Yeah…I got tickets for this uh, week, but I can’t come because the person I’m going with can’t make it. So, I wanna postpone when I use them.
Me: I’m sorry, you want to postpone them?
Caller: Yeah. I mean, I don’t wanna do an exchange or anything. I just wanna come on the 10th instead.
Me: Well…that’s an exchange.
(silence)
Me: If you...
Seriously
Where have all the cowboys gone?
How sexy
I read recently in an issue of the RedEye that, according to some unimportant and ridiculous study, the number of friends one should have on Facebook in order to be “socially attractive” is 302.
Seriously? I only have 198, and I still cringe when I look at some of them. The only reason I don’t delete them is so, when I’m bored at work, I have something to look at. I can...
Tally time
Here are tallies of just random nothings that have to do with my life.
Number of non-busy hours I had this weekend: 8 so far, but it feels like zero. (I am not counting sleep hours, because those are very productive)
Number of times I smiled at Cody: 3
Number of times I told people I could not sell them tickets due to a computer glitch: 6 or so, make that 7 (someone just called in)
Number...
