April 2009
75 posts
Is there an artist out there willing to do for film what Kenny Loggins did in the 80’s? I miss that.
March 2009
49 posts
Mmm..Mmm. Good.
Caller: (after a bit of a delay) Oh…’ey yo. Ya’ll got tickets for a show tonight?
Me: Yes, we have shows every night of the week.
Caller: Aiight wha’s dat show about?
Me: It’s not about anything specific. Our shows are like episodes of Saturday Night Live, sketch comedy.
Caller: Oh aiight. Can you tell me where ya’ll located?
Me: We are at the corner of...
Really sore and sleepy today. Three more days until Friday…
I got to play with the edible stage blood tonight for the first time. It. Was. Goooooood. So gross, so awesome.
I just saw my dream car:
A Chevy Tahoe, with a huge sticker that read “TAHOE” along the passenger side. One big ass dent in the door. Every few inches, HUGE decals of realistic looking chickens.
Yes, ma’am!
Shall I invest in undereye cream already, fair face? You’re not as young as you used to be
Oh, Jen
People magazine really should leave Jennifer Aniston alone. I don’t care who she dates. I really don’t. Stop painting her as this miserable and lonely 40-something who can’t find love after a divorce. Do you know why Brad ended up in a relationship immediately after his marriage ended? Because that relationship had already begun! Fools! Who gives two flying shits who Aniston...
I won’t be seeing you at all this week unless you work at Second City, are involved with the show Cartoon, or you live in the brownstone on Palmer Blvd. And, even then, the last one may be a bit sketchy. Do I even HAVE roommates?
Much love, blog.
Dear DirectTV...
…it takes a village to raise a child
…it takes a ripple to make a wave
…it should not take an act of congress to watch a pay per view movie.
Just saying.
1 tag
Is This The End?
Two years ago a television show came onto the map that rearranged our lives. It defined a generation of comedy and music. It made society aware of real issues, like people on the streets getting diseases…from monkeys. It became a pop culture phenomenon. And it turned two of my already beloved comedians into household names. Yes, friends. Two years ago, you all met Bret McKenzie and...
4 tags
1 tag
Rootin'Tootin'
YEEEEEEEEE Haw.
I want this.
http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2744
“She goin to da beach…she goin to da beach…She goin to da beach. In...”
– Daniel, Me, rap song about my own personal truth. Today. circa lunch time.
I really like this layout I have for my blog, but I’m afraid we’re having some issues. Tumblr, you’re kind of starting to piss me off. If you care, you’ll do something about it.
Wow.
Have you seen this?
http://www.kittywigs.com/latest.html
Wigs for cats. Wigs. For cats.
Read the descriptions. They’re gold!
Did you know that each wig comes in “an attractive round metal wig case”?
If you have $50 to spend on an unnecessary item that your cat will hate you for, you can just donate to my cat’s food and treat fund. Albus and I would really appreciate...
Unexpected
Today, like the health nut and money conscious girl that I am, I didn’t pack a lunch. Instead, I trucked it over to Boston Market. All…the way…across…the street. I was standing in line behind a gentleman who was dining in, so he got the works: soup, sides, drink…
I ordered my meal to go, no drink. As I handed my card to the employee behind the counter, I looked down...
Today, I made acting and plot discoveries like a damned explorer. Then I came home and cuddled my ukulele. If I’d written something other than this, it would have been an eventful Saturday. Especially for someone who isn’t feeling her best.
Tomorrow. I’ll write tomorrow. I may even do so while sitting outside. Imagine that!
Operation Make Gifts for Touring Musicians is in...
It must be said
I love that my BFF sends her son to his grandma’s then drinks a bottle of wine and watches Beavis and Butthead.
And there I was worried that adulthood would change us.
I love you, Em!
Excuse me, miss
You must have been paid to model this shirt. Please make a better face.
(Show some respect.)
A-hole to A-hole traffic
Hey, humans. How’s it hanging?
Listen, I’ve noticed something in the past, oh…14 years or so, that is common practice among human beings when they get behind the wheel of a moving vehicle. As it seems to be an epidemic among drivers, there isn’t just one person I can label as the “baddy” this time. This behavior is reflective of all of us American drivers. It...
Let me explain my job to you, sir
See, the theater has a certain number of seats. For each seat inside the theater, there is a ticket. Now, this ticket is a symbol of your reservation for a seat inside the theater for a specific performance. This practice is simple and universal. If you go anywhere in the world, ticketing will be similar if not identical to what I have described here. This ticketing process is where I come in. I...
I have a college degree
Caller: YEAH! I’ve got a question about Thursday, March 26th for your mainstage show.
Me: Yes?…
silence
Me: What is your question?
Caller: Are there tickets available?
Me: No, that show is actually sold out.
Caller: WHEN?!
Me: I’m sorry?
Caller: WHEN did it sell out?!
Me: I’m not sure, sir.
(Please note, reader, I do not have means to travel back in time. If I...
You know you live in the midwest when that fun jacket you once labeled as your “winter coat” has now become your “in-between extreme seasons” outer wear.
But, for really though, HAVE YOU SEEN THE SUN?! It’s out there!!! A man said hello to me on the street this morning. I know it’s possible that I am the first human he’s spoken to since November. Now...
Caller (with a voice similar to the sound of a cat in heat howling into the night):
HIIIIIIIIIIIII, I just spent a half hour, maybe an hour, on your website getting verrrrry frustrated, trying to figure out what you guys are all about. I want to go, well, I don’t want to see it, but it’s the only one available, Brother Can You…Bro…Brother Do You Have…or Can You Give...
I can't believe we continue to thrive as a race...
Me: Second City Box Office
Caller: Yeah, I want five tickets and this is what’s not sold out, right?
Me: I’m sorry?
Caller: The show that isn’t sold out?
Me: Which show that isn’t sold out?
Caller: I want five tickets for any show that isn’t sold out.
Hello, friend, I am Common Sense. You don’t seem to be acquainted with me, but I help get you through...
I may never get another opportunity
I’m going to pretend I’m on Inside the Actors’ Studio right now…
James Lipton’s 10 questions.
1. What is your favorite word?
cacophony, even though I’m no big fan of actual cacophonies
2. What is your least favorite word?
Stinky or smelly
3. What turns you on?
a sense of humor and a strong connection to your inner child
4. What turns you off?
an...
I would like to invite all humans to watch the documentary Dear Zachary. It is one of the most moving, gutwrenching, raw, and beautiful things I have seen on film. It is so full of heart. I sobbed.
You’re made of stone if you’re not moved to tears by the end.
I mean, for real.
I am so sick of hearing about Chris Brown and Rihanna, that I’m ready to beat the shit out of someone. I know it is terrible that he hurt her. I know it is stupid for her to take him back. I know that they are famous (I guess. Chris Brown wasn’t relevant in my world until all this happened so, go figure), but give me a break already. They’re no Ike and Tina. Sorry. I’m not...
I'm tired.
I’m tired of shrugging and shaking my head. Looking backwards and dreaming forwards. I want to look at today and go “YES!” and pump my fist in the air and dance. When can I do that?
There are people out there making money doing what they love, but they have less talent than a jellyfish.
I’m sick of hearing all these stories: “I was just standing in line for a Coke...
Things you should know about me. Pt. 1
The quickest way to make me hyperventilate is to show me anything relating to The Smurfs.
Or give me a cupcake.
If you gave me one of these, I would drop dead, come back to life, and only eat one that has a flower on…I couldn’t eat one of the others. Way too cute!
http://s53.photobucket.com/albums/g60/caseygp/?action=view¤t=smurfy.jpg
I've been virtually "psychoanalyzed"
(These finger puppets think I’m craaaaaaaaaaazy!)
Never have I been described more accurately by an online personality test than now. (Yes, this is what Casey does on a Friday night when she’s been up for 15.5 hours. Also, I’m drinking Mango vodka and OJ and watching Forensic Files. Don’t be jealous.)
Introverted (I) 57.14% Extroverted (E) 42.86% Intuitive (N) 60.53%...
Can you tell me how to get...
I’ve decided to take a page from the Sesame Street book when it comes to blogging. Today, boys and girls, this entry is brought to you by the number 2 and the letter S.
2 is how many clothing items I bought while grocery shopping at Target 2 is also how many bags of Reese’s Peanut Butter eggs I bought while getting tampons at Walgreen’s. I’d like to know what...
Mommy anxiety
Why am I intimidated by you? How can that be?
Look at you. You’re so tiny and cute and blue. Not even a scary blue. It’s ridiculous. The only life scenario to which I can equate this is a mother’s fear when she brings home a newborn. You’re small, you’re fragile, you’re beautiful and I love you, but I haven’t a clue as to what you want or need. Nor...
A...B...C?
While fiending for something to cure this ever-present sense of boredom today, I went to Walgreen’s to look for a mind numbing magazine. I reached for a copy of a psychology magazine only to notice that it was six bucks. Because I refuse to pay a whole McDonald’s value meal for a magazine, I took a quiz while standing in the aisle so I could find out about myself for free. I love...
“For he who has no tranquility there is no concentration.”
– Bhagavad Gita
Mama said there'd be days like this...
…because they’d be all her fault.
Thanks, ma.
Does anyone have an IV of caffeine and/or a sledgehammer?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1tTN-b5KHg
It’s amazing how we set all of these little life goals so we can pretend like we’re going to accomplish something. The longer I stare at my acting resume, my headshots, my “novel”, my “screenplays” and my ukulele (Miss Norah Jean), the more I admire those people who just wake up, go to work at a boring job, go home, eat dinner, and go to bed. And I’m not...
"And you were there...and YOU were there..."
I had a really strange dream early this morning and it was so damn weird, I thought I would share it with the masses (meaning, the two people who actually read this blog.) Here goes: I’m watching a brand spanking new Batman movie and Jack Nicholson is back as The Joker. During the course of the film, they tell the audience, “At the end, you’ll be able to watch an alternate ending...
