Japan, in few words
So, I scribbled notes while on my trip. Here is what was captured in pen and ink, translated to blog form.
7:40, Central US time
On a plane
Ambien taken
Noodles eaten
Napped through 17 Again (Sorry, Zac)
Awoke to snake time <—-(or, “snack”…please see above about the Ambien)
Drinking wine
Altitude drunk (CHECK!)
Man, being on the way to Japan is so crazy. This old lady sitting to my left and I are going to throw a party. Row 52, ya’ll!
Lavatory mirror confirms—-hair is oily, but this eyeliner has staying power
I’ve been aboard this flying tube for seven and a half glorious hours.
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10:10 Central
We’re less than three hours away from Tokyo.
The combination of Ambien and red wine seems to have had an adverse effect on me. I’m wide awake and hungry and I have to pee, but I refuse to wake the woman next to me.
Staring at the map on the screen that shows exactly where we’re locate, I’m struck dumb by how close I finally am to Australia. Not the closest I’ll ever get either, dammit.
Australia got me thinking about this bat shit crazy chick who went to my high school. Her name was Amanda and she sat next to me in some class where, clearly, I didn’t think much about paying attention to the subject matter. There was a ton of down time where we just talked.
It was ninth grade, when my obsession with Australia was at maximum capacity due to the existence of the band Silverchair and their dirty-haired, eccentric, and gender-bending front man, Daniel Johns. I was so in love.
Amanda knew this and took it upon herself to tell me that her grandmother lived in Oz. Well I was full of crazy questions, the main one being,
“Is Daniel Johns my soulmate?”
She would only allow me (and I don’t recall if this was due to the teacher’s lecture, or if Amanda was just being a dictator) one question per day. So my first question was,
“Have you been there?”
“Yeah, I go every Christmas.”
AH! So jealous! Then I had to shutup and, I guess, learn something or another.
Next day!
“I’ve always wanted to go to Australia. Where does your grandmother live?”
“Birmingham.”
Birmingham?! I knew of the Alabama one where the ‘H’ is pronounced and the one in the UK lacking the ‘H’ sound but…in Australia? I gave her the benefit of the doubt b/c…well…I don’t really know…
“What’s it like?”
“There are so many castles.”
What?
“It takes like, three days to get there on an airplane”
Nah! Bullshit! What the hell kind of fuel tank does this plane have? Three days? It got better.
“Next time we go, my dad wants to take a cruise. I think that’ll be neat!”
Sure. Because who wouldn’t want to take a cruise to a fictional place? Australia is not a three days’ flight away, her grandmother does not live near castles, and Amanda was never a child model—that’s another doozy she told.
For my last question, I had so much fun.
“Ever had a vegemite sandwich?”
“Yeah”
“What’s it like?”
“It’s really good! It has all these marinated meats…”
BOGUS!! Everyone who’s anyone knows that vegemite is a spread that tastes like regurgitated death. Don’t start with me!
I went home that date listening to Men at Work, proud of myself.
I didn’t talk much to the child model after that, except there was that time we discussed an episode of Felicity…the one where her ex gets hit by a bus. According to Facebook, she has kids. Good for her. I wonder where they think their grandmother lives.
I also wonder why I wasn’t carded when I asked for that wine. Curses. Maybe they think no one under age would bother with getting something so mature and refined as red wine.
Let that be a lesson to the kids.
I’m hovering over the ocean right now. And I still have to pee.
((Upon re-reading this entry, I have to say Ambien + Wine = Epic win))
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2:40AM Central time, 4:41PM Tokyo
Lay over…
Hearing a Japanese ticket agent try and pronounce “Pilkenton” was probably the greatest thing ever. And I still think she did better than most Americans.
Being surrounded by people who do not speak English is oddly calming. I think talking on the phone for a living has turned me off my own language.
You’re talking. I can’t comprehend. Therefore, I am not required to answer questions. Marvelous.
So sleepy.
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3:50AM Central, 5:50PM Tokyo
Is it just me, or does this Japanese airplane have more leg room? Does that make sense to you?
Also, if I were in the business of snatching children, I would do so here. So cute!
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5:55AM Central, 7:55PM Osaka
Saw a girl carrying a Jewel-Osco bag from Chicago as a purse.
The most quotable Charity has ever been:
“You know how people say you’re the devil, but what if you’re the Jesus?”
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Late…or early depending on where you’re located
Today I went to Nara. Saw some temples. Took pics of TONS of deer. I mean TONS!
Looked in several shops and ate like a bitch.
Dinner nearly killed me it was so good. Then…Waiting for Guffman.
Tired.
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4:45PM (Saturday) Osaka
Today I shopped…yikes. I eventually had to cut myself off b/c they made me feel bad about my body. And it was hot. And I don’t want to spend all my money.
I saw one child I wanted to steal and one who was holding a knife to her lips.
Had an interesting “conversation” with a girl in a shop who tried to get me to buy every pink thing they carried because it’s the color I was wearing at the time.
At dinner…
CRAZY looking lady in a stained sweatshirt, a wig, a crooked baseball cap, and her top teeth missing asked where we were from then said,
“I am Japanese”
As if it would come as a surprise.
Food=AMAZING
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10:09AM Osaka-It’s Monday
Yesterday was for people watching at USJ.
Saw Charity’s show. Was the token white girl on the Jurassic Park ride. Saw some GREAT English shirts and made it to the Blues Brothers stage just in time to hear “Sweet Home Chicago”
Shop. Shop. Shop. Shop. Shop.
Walk. Take pictures.
Hightlight of the day was a Japanese man singing a reggae version of “Beat It”
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9/1/09
Last night I drank in a park with Japanese men who got naked and shot off fireworks.
Some great quotes from the night
“Sorry, Japanese penis”
“Mistake!”
“Japanese famous”
“Yes we can”
DINNER!!
And birthday cake…which was announced over the loudspeaker. Then “September” by Earth Wind and Fire played while we ate cake…gorgeous cake
Then we karaoke roomed it up. We saw some people practicing dance moves in front of the windows of a shopping area. It was awesome.
/
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9-2-09
Happy Birthday to me!!!!
There is no one sitting next to me on this flight!!!
This is awesome!!!
I met some fabulous people this trip and talked crazy shit with Charity, as per usual. And fell in love with a crazy claymation show about two cats…
2 years ago • 1 note
